Prologue: My World - Page 20

Alrighty, story wise and character wise, What you've got going here is up to far with the rest of what we've seen. All the Mane 6 are showing their personalities pretty well, with Rainbow's wondrous look, Fluttershy's quiet smile, AppleJack's and Rarity's satisfied grins, Twilight's and Pinkie's enthusiastic beams. Yeah, you have the characters down solid, so your Vision is pretty on the mark. It's pretty original, we've seen them star gazing before yeah, but they were with a much larger group, and this is just six friends hanging out having a swell time. However, there are a few really glaring issues that detract overall, mainly concerning anatomy. The first and most obvious problem is Pinkie Pie's face. I can obviously see what your going for with her expression, but the execution is really flawed. Her head is huge compared to the rest of the ponies, more like an alien gray than a pastel equine. Her left eye looks funny too, the way her cheek is affecting it. The lighting on the leg kicking upwards make it look longer than it actually is. The only other major flaw I've noticed that detracts are the wrinkle's on Twilight's snout. They make her look aged, and when removed, the expression has a better impact. Also AJ's Right eye is a different color from her left, although that's probably because of lighting.